Do not label this a craving. It is not that shallow. Not even close.
Cravings are merely skin deep. They are merely on the tip of your tongue. They are merely on the top of your mind. Or merely a pang in your stomach.
A craving is simply…merely.
Yes, a craving can move a person. But cravings are easily solved with the bite of something to eat. Maybe even just a taste.
It is less than that. A craving can just pass with time. Even if you go without, that for which you craved. The feeling evaporates if you consume some substitute.
I don’t move the earth for a craving. I don’t stick my neck out to be cut off for a craving. I don’t lift a finger for a craving.
I am stronger than that. I am more than that.
Calling anything inside of me a craving would be dismissive of what is really happening. Of what is really going on inside my mind. Inside my gut.
I am not just hungry either. You can’t even label it that. That’s not strong enough.
If I’m hungry, I can eat a large meal. Or have a large dose. And then I sit down. And then I take a nap. Because my hunger is gone. But this won’t be cured by just overeating.
I have a hunger. That lives within. Deep inside my mind. In the depths of my soul.
Not deep inside me, like it is buried mind you. But deep inside of me, because it is the driver of everything I do.
It doesn’t just steer me today. It steers me. Period.
Even if I wanted to mask this, I couldn’t.
You can see it, and hear it, and feel it. If you just spend enough time near me. You can it see my eyes. In my focus. You can see my mind working in such a way. It screams in the background and the foreground of every word I say. It leaps out at you with everything I do. It will grab you. And grab ahold of you.
But I don’t want to mask this. I’m not trying to mask this.
My way is one of transparency. I let you see all the way through. I let you see me hunger for it. I let you see me coming for it. And if you happen to be in my way, I let you see me coming for you.
No one in their right mind would ever mistake this for a craving. So don’t.
This…this is a hunger.