When the sun goes down, it all goes down.
Gone is the light. And I sit in darkness. Unable to see my Way. Unable to see beauty, even if it is here. Gone is the warmth. And I sit out in the cold. That bone-chilling, lonely cold that easily penetrates my clothes, my skin. Gone is the nourishment. And I starve for what I once had.
I think back to those moments, right before the sun did set…the striking beauty. The rapidly changing sky. One moment more glorious than the next. The glow.
That glow is what gets me the most.
People gather all over this earth to stare at that glow. They line beaches and rooftops. In large cities, in the most desolate places, and everywhere in between. Sunset are marveled…and they should be.
They can take the ugliest of landscapes and change it to beauty…in an instant.
It even made me beautiful. Even if just for a moment. And I loved it. Even though I knew it was going to end at some point.
Obviously, sunsets are short-lived. That’s probably in part why they are so beautiful. They are here and gone so fast.
We race to see them. We almost chase them.
I wonder if you could chase a sunset. Racing through the sky at some incredible speed, could you bask in the glow of a sunset for some extraordinary amount of time? Could you bask in it forever?
I put effort here. Unfortunately I have neither the speed nor the stamina. I am unable to keep up with the spinning of the earth. Darkness is fast. Blotting out that last light with speed, and precision. With totality.
But just seeing a sunset, doesn’t do it justice.
A lot of people can see sunsets…but how many get to feel them? How many get to know what it’s like to set with the sun? Going down in that blaze. Going down in that orange sky. Knowing the light is leaving. Knowing the warmth is going. Knowing the nourishment is all but gone. Yet hanging on, grasping at the very last straws of light. Of life.
It’s hard to see it go. It’s much harder to go with it.
It gets confusing when it’s gone too. I’m not sure if I miss the sun or the sunset.
And now I sit here, late at night, and try to dig sunsets like I’m Ponyboy. Wanting and wishing for beauty to come back into my world. The sunset gave me something beautiful. Gave me something I needed.
I know…darkness will too.
A new day will be born soon. More light and warmth and nourishment isn’t too far off. I just have to get through this night. This very long night.