Bent Not Broken

I didn’t make it a month into blog retirement. But an entire family I know and love is in pain right now. And I can’t sit here and not use the one skill I have that might offer even a shred of ease.

In our worst times, we are not in pieces. We are not shattered all over the ground. We are not even cracked at all. We are simply bent.

Sometimes we’re bent all the way in half.

In those really tough times…it’s more than that. Our thoughts twisting and turning. Tripping over each other. Waves of emotions coming and going in every direction. We get all twisted and tied up. Until we become this big, giant knot.

It feels like we’re broken. And it seems as if we are going to stay like this forever. But we’re not. We’re just a knot.

It’s not easy, in moments of immediate pain…in real pain…in tied up like a knot pain…to find perspective.

But it’s there.

It’s staring at you. Right in the face. The only thing you need to do to see it, is to pick your chin up. I know…even lifting your head right now is difficult. You don’t want to see that your pain can be put in perspective. It really hurts. I get it.

But I want to use perspective, to show you that you will get through this. I believe perspective can loosen that first strand in that giant knot, that personifies you right now.

So here it goes…some perspective…please bear with me.

Go to any news web site. While I normally hate the way these sites prey on the hordes of people seeking out misery. Those same sites do wonders for people looking for perspective. Go there now and just scan the headlines. There is a lot of bad out there in this world. And your slice of pain, what you’re going through right now, while huge in your life, pales in comparison to what people endure all over this world.

People in 1st world countries have the luxury to be in this kind of pain. Your kind of pain. We are not literally starving, or part of a genocide, or in some drought that will never, ever end. Most of us weren’t taken at a young age, forced to take heroin and become soldiers in an army, to kill others in a war we care nothing about. We weren’t forced into prostitution or slavery. We know nothing of our loved ones being murdered, right in front of our eyes. Men, women, and yes, our children too.

The horrors that some endure are so far out there, that I can’t even comprehend them. My brain puts up this wall that won’t allow me to wrap my head around any of it.

But even those people. People in the worst situations you could ever think of. They are not broken.

Evidenced by the fact that I could retell a million stories about individuals in those situations. In the worst possible places. In the worst imaginable circumstances. Down, but not out. How they rose. From ashes. How they triumphed. From tragedy. How they dominated this world. And used that pain, not to wallow in, but as motivation.

I don’t bring perspective up, expecting it to minimize your pain in this moment. Nothing I write here or say to you right now is going to help ease that. I don’t even want to do that. I don’t think that’s helpful.

You need to wallow in pain…probably for a bit. You need to deal with that pain. To process it all. That takes a while.

Have you ever tried to get a complicated knot out quickly? You can’t. It takes time. It takes patience. And you constantly need to work at it.

Remember that last point. You will need to work at it.

I write about perspective to show you that human beings, so much more tangled than yourself…get at those knots. They untangle. They thrive. They flourish. You too will untangle. You too will thrive. You too will flourish.

But go be sad right now. Deal with what you need to deal with. Wallow as long as you need to. I will be sad too. With you. And for you.

I will tell you this though…there is a sun out there. A bright, glorious, gleaming sun. Just waiting to shine on you. When you’re ready.

My hand is here, extended out. Both my hands. Ready to help you start picking at your knot. Just say the word, and I will pull at every last strand in your tangle.

But I imagine, when you feel the time is right, you will unbend and untie and untangle yourself, and be dancing out there in that sun, either by yourself or with each other.

I love you guys.